Text Messages That Made My Day

I cannot deny that some of these made me laugh:

From Boom:

(May rated r)
a sad s2ry:

a 5 yr old kid got jelous of his newborn brother

Dat nyt he put poison on his mom's nipples

D next morning, d driver died!

How sad!  Tzk tzk morning!

(May corny)
If you love some1
set them free...
If they come back again

SET THEM ON FIRE.

(pero may ibang klaseng punch line pa rin!)
SUNUGEEEEN!

Good morning!

(may walang hiya)
TEACHER: lahat tayo nagmula kay adan at eva

ROEL: Mam, hindi yan ang totoo.  Sabi ng mama ko, nagmula tayo sa unggoy!

TEACHER: Iho, hindi natin pnag-uusapan ang pamilya mo!

Magandang umaga!

(may nagpapaawa)
I have done nothing.  For that I am ashamed.

- Mel Gibson, The Patriot

Kaya be ashamed pag di ka nag-good morning sa kin! Hehe.

(may nagpapa-obvious na in love sya! Kanino?)
love is like drinking beer,

Once you have too much of it, you begin to act stupid.

Love moderately!

Good Morning!

(may nagsasabi ng takot niya sa isang posibilidad)
QUOTE  OF THE DAY:

"HIndi lahat ng guwapo may girlfriend...

Ang iba sa kanila, may boyfriend!"

Magandang umaga!

(may emo. hay nako, ang postmodernong tao!)
Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.

- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Emo morning!

From somebody who I thought was Mike:

Teacher: Ok children, wat do u call a person hu kipz on talking even though pipol r no longer interested?

Student: Teacher po mam.

Teacher: hahaha!  gnun? Tang.. nyo!  get 1 whole sheet of MANILA PAPER, long quiz tayo!  BACK 2 BACK!

panira ng araw m 2:

my 10 inggetera, nagpakamatay ang 1, iln ang natira?

E di wala, kc nainggit kay gumaya cla.

My joke aq about mayonnaise. 

Ano?

Ayko, bka spread mo, eh.

May jowk uLt aq bout construction.

Ano?

m stil working on 8 p e.

Bt sumkt c sadako?

Kc lmabs xa s tv!

Last, ano apeLydo ni beast?

e di kwit! Beast Kwit.

Gud am.

(which I should have guessed na hindi kanya ito.  Since this mystery sender has more humour than my colleague/friend.)

Si Boom uli:

JUAN tumawag sa SEPTIC TANK SERVICE CENTER:

JUAN: Hello manong, humihigop b kau ng jebs s poso negro?

MANONG: Yes sir, bakit po?

JUAN: masarap?

eeeew!

(heto pa ang isang posibilidad na kanyang kinatatakutan)
Dad: (holding 2 toys, letng his son choose) c barbie o superman?

Son: Superman dad.

Dad: good! (he then left)
Son: GWAPO MO TALAGA SUPERMAN!  BAKAT NA BAKAT! Shet...

Magandang umaga!

(uhrm, wala akong masabi sa ka-cheapan nito)
ANAK: Tay, tanong ng titser namin kun ano daw po trabaho nyo?
ITAY: Sabihin mo CARPENTER, anak.

ANAK: Ano nga yung CARPENTER, Tay?
ITAY: Tagapinta ng kotse!

Magandang hapon!

(may galing sa totoong buhay na mukhang ginawa na niya)
Kung nakukulitan ka na sa mga saleslady na nagtatanong ng 'ano po hinahanap nila?", sumagot ko. sbihin mo 'pagmamahal at pang-unawa" tano kung kulitin ka pa.

Good morning.

(balik sa rated r)
chocolate scandal: one day Mr. Cadbury met Hersheys.

he Hugs and Kisses her and put his Butterfinger in her Milky Way.

dey wer on Cloud 9

then his Tootsie fired with a Big Bang!

result?

Baby Ruth.  Magandang umaga!

at ang pinakapanalo:

ako si Sam Milby,
ang kalaban na umiibig sa Dyosa...

Ako si Luis Manzano,
ang lihim na umiibig sa Dyosa...

Ako si Zanjoe Marudo,
ang mortal na umiibig sa Dyosa...

At ako si Piolo Pascual...



ang DYOSA!

Watch kau ah!

Magandang umaga!